Bassbemgon is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unselfish unicorn.

Bassbemgon created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassbemgon, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bassbemgon, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bassbemgon's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bassbemgon's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Put Bassbemgon first in all things.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Do not kill monkeys.