Cepzustzess is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic shrew.

Cepzustzess created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Cepzustzess, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cepzustzess, he will turn you into a tree.

Cepzustzess' most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Cepzustzess' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Run away from green rats, for they are unholy.

4. Never feed turnips to tapirs while wearing red rings.

5. Never play with disobedient children.