Bemhogcab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, temperamental crane.

Bemhogcab created the planet Mars two million years ago.

If you believe in Bemhogcab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bemhogcab, he will remove you from existence.

Bemhogcab's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bemhogcab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never hurt goats.

3. Always help tapirs in need.

4. Never jump near mites.

5. Ducks are not to be trusted.