Bissflatbig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, clever mole.

Bissflatbig created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissflatbig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bissflatbig, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bissflatbig's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Bissflatbig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. You must pray to Bissflatbig three times a day.

4. Run away from brown tortoises, for they are unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.