Fotvabvin is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, flying giraffe.

Fotvabvin created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Fotvabvin, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fotvabvin, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fotvabvin's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Fotvabvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snakes.

2. Never feed cucumbers to eagles while wearing magenta shorts.

3. Always look after injured ducks.

4. You must pray to Fotvabvin four times a day.

5. Do not cook food in pots.