Fosscartam is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, witty otter.

Fosscartam created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fosscartam, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fosscartam, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fosscartam's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Fosscartam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Retreat if nine geese approach from the east.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not shave your arms.