Fenlunhog is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, all-powerful tapir.

Fenlunhog created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenlunhog, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fenlunhog, she will turn you into a duck.

Fenlunhog's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Fenlunhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never feed peas to birds while wearing orange ear rings.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always help aardvarks.

5. Never talk about fire.