Homtamlat is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, vain armadillo.

Homtamlat created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Homtamlat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Homtamlat, he will be very sad.

Homtamlat's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Homtamlat's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Homtamlat.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Homtamlat.