Fetlegstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, astonishing snail.

Fetlegstrag created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Fetlegstrag, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fetlegstrag, it will have a low opinion of you.

Fetlegstrag's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Fetlegstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.