Nutbuddabpagbarngessomt is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish jackal.

Nutbuddabpagbarngessomt created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutbuddabpagbarngessomt, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nutbuddabpagbarngessomt, it will turn you into a slug.

Nutbuddabpagbarngessomt's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Nutbuddabpagbarngessomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always obey Nutbuddabpagbarngessomt's priests.