Dimtoffit is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, happy mongoose.

Dimtoffit created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimtoffit, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dimtoffit, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dimtoffit's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Dimtoffit's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat swans with great respect.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.