Neghitcimwik Vonligwee Kaptarglik is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, slow shrew.

Neghitcimwik Vonligwee Kaptarglik created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Neghitcimwik Vonligwee Kaptarglik, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Neghitcimwik Vonligwee Kaptarglik, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Neghitcimwik Vonligwee Kaptarglik's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Neghitcimwik Vonligwee Kaptarglik's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always help sick mice.

4. Never eat bananas.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Neghitcimwik Vonligwee Kaptarglik on top of all buildings.