Arpfosscap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering fly.

Arpfosscap created the planet Venus eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpfosscap, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Arpfosscap, he will turn you into a mouse.

Arpfosscap's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Arpfosscap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never write about comets.