Gamzaklarp is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical centipede.

Gamzaklarp created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Gamzaklarp, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gamzaklarp, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Gamzaklarp's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gamzaklarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. You must never eat wheat.

5. Never feed gooseberries to mice while wearing turquoise tights.