Farcanpan is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, moody porpoise.

Farcanpan created the Black Eye Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Farcanpan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Farcanpan, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Farcanpan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Farcanpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Put Farcanpan first in all things.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never mention turtles.