Appsanortnartrulgutvil Febgubgumspag is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, amazing beaver.

Appsanortnartrulgutvil Febgubgumspag created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Appsanortnartrulgutvil Febgubgumspag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Appsanortnartrulgutvil Febgubgumspag, he will turn you into a mouse.

Appsanortnartrulgutvil Febgubgumspag's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Appsanortnartrulgutvil Febgubgumspag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Pray towards the north.