Hotminlen is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, all-powerful fairy.

Hotminlen created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hotminlen, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hotminlen, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Hotminlen's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Hotminlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Hotminlen must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Put Hotminlen first in all things.