Lopbogkar is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, selfish human.

Lopbogkar created a charm quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopbogkar, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lopbogkar, she will destroy your favourite star.

Lopbogkar's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Lopbogkar's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Put Lopbogkar first in all things.

5. Hide from fawn doves for they are unholy.