Mapnillbess Tadhatbad is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, flying otter.

Mapnillbess Tadhatbad created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Mapnillbess Tadhatbad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mapnillbess Tadhatbad, he will throw large rocks at you.

Mapnillbess Tadhatbad's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Mapnillbess Tadhatbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not speak about tomatoes.