Hatcamlik is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, clever squirrel.

Hatcamlik created the Sol system twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hatcamlik, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hatcamlik, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hatcamlik's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Hatcamlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always help sick aardvarks.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.