Largjonced is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, resourceful squirrel.

Largjonced created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Largjonced, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Largjonced, he will refuse to believe in you.

Largjonced's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Largjonced's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to snakes while wearing turquoise skirts.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Do not dye your hair cyan.