Tagfubflig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthoughtful hydra.

Tagfubflig created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagfubflig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tagfubflig, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tagfubflig's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tagfubflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black ear rings.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.