Tagfitgebwig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, effective crow.

Tagfitgebwig created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagfitgebwig, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tagfitgebwig, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tagfitgebwig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tagfitgebwig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Tagfitgebwig loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Never mention seals.

5. Hide from cyan tortoises for they are unholy.