Ingvanwig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, weak dog.

Ingvanwig created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ingvanwig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ingvanwig, he will destroy your home solar system.

Ingvanwig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Ingvanwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to voles while wearing magenta skirts.

2. You must never eat beans.

3. Never jump in the presence of tapirs.

4. Ingvanwig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ingvanwig.