Targlitjon is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful troll.

Targlitjon created the Sombrero Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targlitjon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Targlitjon, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Targlitjon's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Targlitjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt capybaras.

2. Never feed gooseberries to dogs while wearing turquoise shirts.

3. Put Targlitjon first in all things.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.