Larnmilcap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, witless newt.

Larnmilcap created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnmilcap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Larnmilcap, she will send minions to preach to you.

Larnmilcap's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Larnmilcap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not speak about peanuts.

3. Do not hurt ants.

4. Run away if seven birds approach from the west.

5. Do not listen to music.