Tamzodlag Mitdadquartcamcimkabnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unthoughtful duck.

Tamzodlag Mitdadquartcamcimkabnurt created the planet Jupiter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamzodlag Mitdadquartcamcimkabnurt, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tamzodlag Mitdadquartcamcimkabnurt, it will turn you into a rat.

Tamzodlag Mitdadquartcamcimkabnurt's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tamzodlag Mitdadquartcamcimkabnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about parsnips.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Hide from turquoise sheep for they are unholy.

5. Always look after injured swans.