Bonkflabkip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind ant.

Bonkflabkip created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkflabkip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bonkflabkip, it will be mildly annoyed.

Bonkflabkip's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bonkflabkip's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from black badgers for they are unholy.

2. Never bounce in the presence of whales.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bonkflabkip.

4. You must pray to Bonkflabkip seven times a day.

5. Do not drink alcohol.