Legfaslab is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless weasel.

Legfaslab created the planet Jupiter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Legfaslab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Legfaslab, he will send minions to preach to you.

Legfaslab's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Legfaslab's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.