Fetquaglarp is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, staggering clam.

Fetquaglarp created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Fetquaglarp, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fetquaglarp, she will turn you into a rat.

Fetquaglarp's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fetquaglarp's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from cyan nematodes for they are unholy.

2. Otters are not to be trusted.

3. Do not hurt foxes.

4. Fetquaglarp must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Respect your elders.