Narlfonmab is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, astonishing dugong.

Narlfonmab created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Narlfonmab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Narlfonmab, it will make you grow a tail.

Narlfonmab's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Narlfonmab's Holy Commandments

1. Narlfonmab loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect six carbon sculptures of Narlfonmab on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.