Fetsanbot is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, ruthless ferret.

Fetsanbot created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetsanbot, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fetsanbot, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fetsanbot's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fetsanbot's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never mention porpoises.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.