Xemjensin is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid wombat.

Xemjensin created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xemjensin, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xemjensin, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Xemjensin's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Xemjensin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.