Tunyikbarnpagpodtan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, deceitful cat.

Tunyikbarnpagpodtan created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunyikbarnpagpodtan, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tunyikbarnpagpodtan, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tunyikbarnpagpodtan's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Tunyikbarnpagpodtan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never sing in the presence of tortoises.

3. Always wear white.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Never hurt manatees.