Vaglabbit is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, staggering snail.

Vaglabbit created the solar system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vaglabbit, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vaglabbit, he will manifest in front of you.

Vaglabbit's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vaglabbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never eat bark.