Hatfitpan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, two-faced eagle.

Hatfitpan created the planet Saturn six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatfitpan, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hatfitpan, it will not care at all.

Hatfitpan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Hatfitpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Hatfitpan's priests.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.