Xuccutcatfid is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, duplicitous whale.

Xuccutcatfid created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuccutcatfid, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xuccutcatfid, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Xuccutcatfid's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Xuccutcatfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.