Vabcissfetnilyimpinbemgar Ladarftaf Jamvegnel is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, capable meerkat.

Vabcissfetnilyimpinbemgar Ladarftaf Jamvegnel created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabcissfetnilyimpinbemgar Ladarftaf Jamvegnel, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vabcissfetnilyimpinbemgar Ladarftaf Jamvegnel, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Vabcissfetnilyimpinbemgar Ladarftaf Jamvegnel's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Vabcissfetnilyimpinbemgar Ladarftaf Jamvegnel's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four lead sculptures of Vabcissfetnilyimpinbemgar Ladarftaf Jamvegnel on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about dogs.

3. Always look after injured frogs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Do not shave your hands.