Higartcebtafvogzencibyak is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, strong raccoon.

Higartcebtafvogzencibyak created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Higartcebtafvogzencibyak, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Higartcebtafvogzencibyak, he will make you grow a tail.

Higartcebtafvogzencibyak's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Higartcebtafvogzencibyak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Higartcebtafvogzencibyak on top of all buildings.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. You must love Higartcebtafvogzencibyak.

5. Do not shave your neck.