Han is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, awe-inspiring pig.

Han created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Han, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Han, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Han's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Han's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Han.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.