Stanbabfed Cutnegmot is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, overgenerous shark.

Stanbabfed Cutnegmot created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanbabfed Cutnegmot, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Stanbabfed Cutnegmot, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Stanbabfed Cutnegmot's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Stanbabfed Cutnegmot's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never skip near otters.

4. You must pray to Stanbabfed Cutnegmot seven times a day.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Stanbabfed Cutnegmot.