Latnilgess is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, conceited tapir.

Latnilgess created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latnilgess, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Latnilgess, it will be very unhappy.

Latnilgess' most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Latnilgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Worship no other gods but Latnilgess.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always help sick sharks.