Fenmotjab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful whale.

Fenmotjab created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenmotjab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fenmotjab, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fenmotjab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Fenmotjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink corsets.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. You must pray to Fenmotjab nine times a day.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help foxes.