Vonkrigcebsatgidparksandav is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, smart swan.

Vonkrigcebsatgidparksandav created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkrigcebsatgidparksandav, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vonkrigcebsatgidparksandav, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vonkrigcebsatgidparksandav's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Vonkrigcebsatgidparksandav's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six platinum sculptures of Vonkrigcebsatgidparksandav on top of important buildings.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.