Kangofbap is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, weak bee.

Kangofbap created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kangofbap, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kangofbap, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kangofbap's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Kangofbap's Holy Commandments

1. Put Kangofbap first in all things.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about fire.