Fabcipril is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, self-assured cow.

Fabcipril created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fabcipril, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Fabcipril, it will turn you into a rat.

Fabcipril's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Fabcipril's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines.

2. Always obey Fabcipril's priests.

3. Never mention snails.

4. Never talk about sharks.

5. Fast once a month.