Cutqueegnib is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciful gnu.

Cutqueegnib created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutqueegnib, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cutqueegnib, he will turn you into a goat.

Cutqueegnib's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Cutqueegnib's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys in need.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.