Paspanhug is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, fast ant.

Paspanhug created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Paspanhug, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Paspanhug, she will turn you into a goat.

Paspanhug's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Paspanhug's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not hurt sharks.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.