Bemyamgess is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, charitable pig.

Bemyamgess created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemyamgess, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bemyamgess, he will cry a lot.

Bemyamgess' most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Bemyamgess' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick frogs.

2. Retreat if seven eagles approach from the north.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.