Stanwotnell is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, intelligent goblin.

Stanwotnell created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanwotnell, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stanwotnell, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Stanwotnell's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Stanwotnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.